Clay Wars

As Scott mentioned, there was a tiny little blue water lake just off the back road by Nooitgedacht where we used to gather for the clay wars. This lake had a small orange island about 14 feet long by 5 feet wide sticking about a foot out of the water. The island was about 15 yards off shore. About 30 feet from the island was a submerged atoll, smaller than the island and ranging from 1 to 3 feet under water, made largely of white clay. The water surrounding the island and atoll was no more than 8 feet deep and the bottom was littered with large white clay nodules. The clay was very pure and smooth with no rocks in it and the perfect consistency to be immediately formed by hand. This lake had all the natural geometry and resources just begging for someone to invent the clay war game. We didn’t need digital watches or text messaging to know when and where to show up, nothing other than swim trunks (buckta) was needed or useful. (As everybody knows, all timing in the town was run by “hooters” but that is a whole subject on its own) You can read about the Nooitgedacht races for a prequel to the clay wars. Sides were chosen (another intricate subject) and we would race out to our respective “forts” to start stock-piling clay ammunition. Initially the water would be crystal clear and you could see the valuable clay deposits on the bottom that would later be rapidly transformed into ammunition of various calibers, each with its own strategic purpose. The basic objective of the war was for the atoll-based attackers to overthrow the defenders of the island. There were a few rules that allowed this to happen: 1) If you got hit by a clay ball you had to die (fall into the water) and 2) If there were no defenders standing on the island, the attackers took possession. Dead defender warriors would almost immediately be reincarnated by the water and could scramble back into position. Dead attackers had to go back to the atoll to be reincarnated. Dying of course was performed with the most theatrical of acrobatics, as one staggered, twisted, flipped and flopped into the water, complete with anguished screams. This war game was not just a simple snowball fight, it actually involved fairly sophisticated strategies as the defenders had to deal with the logistics of simultaneously mining enough ammunition and adequately manning the fort, while the attackers had to figure out how to get close enough to knock the defenders off. As the war raged on, the water immediately surrounding the combat theatre would turn completely white, making it impossible to see through. This helped attackers, and sometime defenders, but also forced everyone to mine clay by feel alone. It was not really possible to hit all the defenders from the atoll, but you could set up a barrage that kept them dodging while your attack party made a fast assault. Another strategy was to send the entire attack army under water where they could not be seen or hit, carrying as much ammo as possible. One attacker would surface somewhere, possibly even on the far side of the island, to draw fire as the main body erupted for a broadside. Or they might simply send a flanking party to the far side and nail the defenders with crossfire – its pretty tough to see and dodge projectiles from multiple directions. It may sound like taking the island was easy but there were ingenious strategies developed by defenders too, such as recalling all miners at strategic times, or sending out snipers, and it was always a pretty even match. One defender strategy against total immersion of the attackers was to abandon the island while the attackers were underwater and set up to pick off the first attacker to try to claim the island, thus immediately re-taking it. As Scott previously mentioned, this game was highly addictive, with almost constant laughter as we taxed out bodies and our minds. Who needs the Corbomite maneuver when you can devise your own reverse underwater ambush?